One of the hardest things to do in crisis is take care of yourself. Some of the things that I thought were taking care of self weren’t especially helpful. And now, if you are facing crisis during this especially insane time (#2020issues), you need to focus.
Focus. That’s a hard word when your mind is in grieving fog. Focus is the last thing you want and even can do. Of course you need to allow the wave of grief to wash over you; it simply cannot be stopped, and it’s not healthy to try to stop it. BUT…you need to learn to ride it out. That is extremely personal, and I can only tell you what works for me.
What I have learned, and am still learning, is to go with it; let the tears come. Let the unbearable emptiness of the loss hit you. Welcome it as an old friend rather than an enemy to fight. Give yourself the gift of experiencing, once again, the love you held and still hold, for the missing loved one in your life. When you let that love fill you, the wave of grief subsides.
It’s scary, isn’t it? Grieving. It’s so consuming, so unnatural.
That’s because it’s not the way God intended it to be. We were not supposed to bear loss of lif; when God created us, he created us to live forever. There shouldn’t be this “sting of death” that we so keenly feel.
God knows how this feels. He gave Jesus, and He knows the pain of loss and separation. Jesus understands the pain; He wept over Lazarus. He knows how empty our hearts feel when there is loss.
Trust Him. Ride it out with Him. Put on worship music, hug a pillow and cry. In the midst, praise and worship. That is the way that I have found to not become consumed and unable to walk through another day without my beloved daughter. That doesn’t mean that I don’t miss her. It means that I can ask Jesus to help me handle the grieving.
Let me pray for you now:
Father, I thank You for the reader who is seeing this. I ask You to reach down and touch them with Your healing hand of mercy. Please give this beloved child hope in their hearts. I pray that the loss of their loved one will draw them closer to You. You know and understand. Your heal the brokenhearted. You care, deeply. I thank You and give You all the glory. In Your Name, Amen
If you’d like to learn some great tools to help you through crisis, may I suggest you look at the Crisis Proof Your Weight Loss course led by Sara and Becky of Faithful Finish Lines. While this course is designed to help with weight issues, I found it extremely helpful in dealing with many of the emotions that come in times of grieving. It’s offered at $39, and is self-guided, with videos and a workbook. Very easy to access and go through at your own pace.
*If you are struggling with your grief, please consider counseling at your church or local mental health resources, and call your doctor. Do not suffer alone.