It’s a beautiful day here in Colorado, and, of course, 8 inches of snow is supposedly coming tomorrow.
And, that completely relates to the journey of grieving. Some days are sunny, and others get dumped on by a cascade of emotion that falls as relentlessly as the Colorado snows.
Deep winter now has a double meaning for me. A time of deep sadness, darkness and cold in my soul. It was rough. It was ugly…I was ugly. Some days I didn’t want to get put of my bed, and some days I didn’t.
One thing I did…one Person I clung to…was Jesus. He met me where I was, without judgement or condemnation. He didn’t rush me through my grief, He is teaching me how to embrace it, honoring both Him and my dear daughter. Even on those days when all I could do was say, “Help,” He stayed close.
This past week, I feel that the very first small corner has been turned. I’m not as heavy, I can smile a bit easier. A friend commented that I look brighter, more like myself. Another wise friend told me that I might go two steps back again. I understand that, and know to expect it and not beat myself up about it. The HubMeister, too, has felt a bit of that.
I have been participating in a Grief Share group. Dear one reading this, please look into it. I understand that support groups aren’t for everyone (the HubMeister is one of those folks), but I would ask you to pray about stepping out of your comfort zone and try it. You can find a group near you on their site, and you can also purchase the audio files and a workbook and go through ot on your own. It’s wonderful, helpful material.
My shirt says it all. I am grateful for so much.
🔶️ for a fabulous, wonderful God who loves me
🔶️ for His love letter to me, to read and count on
🔶️ to have such a beautiful daughter for the 34 years that she was here
🔶️ my sons…all 4 of them and their wonderful, complex personalities and gifts
🔶️ to have the opportunity to glorify Jesus in my life, no matter my circumstances
🔶️ a husband who stands by me, who carries me and who loves me as Christ loves His church
I am hoping to return to more consistent blogging in the near future.
Be abundantly blessed,
Barb 🌻 aka, Vintagechyck